I don't know why I am sharing this story .. 

t I just wanted to say that to feel better to feel less broken. 

3years ago, I was a free soul without regrets without limits who want to experience every thing ever single thing. 2018 march 3rd I was in my balcony waiting for my swiggy order eagerly like a kid. Suddenly my door bell rang I ran towards the door because my little stomach was Hungary and thousands of rats are beeping into my stomach.  I opened the door a boy with 6 ft height  perfect Body and messy look was standing in front of me ( yeahh.. I know it sounds like some romantic movie  but yes it happened in my own personal life) . He asked me 'yeh rakesh ji ka ghr kahan hai'. I helped him with the address then I realized wow those thousands rats are now gone somewhere.   After few minutes my order was at my doors . After three day I was at the nearest grocery store and suddenly he came there to buy some stuffs. I was very sure that he will not recognize me but still I just wanted to ask him Does he find the right address my mind was playing  confused should I ask him or should I not. Suddenly I heard a attractive voice hey thanks for the address. I was the dumbest person at that moment instead of being calm I went mad  and I was like ohh man  if u olny follow the house number probably you would find the right address(argh... I hate why I react so idiotic) . But he laughed at my words I felt so relaxed. It was almost surreal. Then we introduced ourselves like professional at giving our intro.  Then we started meeting everyday at the same grocery store at least for a week. He was the nephew of rakesh uncle he came here for the first time to meet see him for a week. Now it's time for him to go back to his native place. So we exchanged our number to get in touch with each other. He was actually form delhi . After two days I waited him to call me but my patience was too low so I  called him. A more attractive voice came from the  other side he sounds more attractive on phone calls. I told him hey it's me he recognised me. We started taking on phones messages ( but not that much) . He always talk about his life his ambitions  and I enjoyed  listening him  . Now six months passed like clouds in monsoon, now I was addicted to his voice  addicted to him. He always used  to tell me a sentence I am not addicted to something I can leave any habit the next moment I want . But what can I do  I was addicted him.now it's been for one year we continued talking to each other. Sharing our daily chit chat... 

3rd March 2019 ... I dialled his number . I heard the number you are trying to reach does not exist. I open my WhatsApp no messages got double tick. Neither insta nor fb he was also not there. He left me only with his memories. Only with some smiles and tears. And yes it is possible to hate and love someone at the same time I do it to him every single day.